can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Randomize
