Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
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