I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Randomize
