I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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