do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
