I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize
