i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
