My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
so much tequila, so little girl.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
