he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
