whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
