that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
