there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
