it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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