Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
