my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
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