Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Still dying that you shit outside
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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