someone threw a dead crab at me
Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
