Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
