my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
