I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Randomize
