i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Send help, water and tortillas.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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