she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
either way he was missing a nipple.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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