when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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