how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
then he tried to convert me to islam
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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