her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Randomize
