Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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