I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
