My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Randomize
