I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
