Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
