So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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