he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
