I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Randomize
