she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Randomize
