Well apparently he's into motor boating.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
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