I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
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