If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
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