Where is the hickey?
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
