You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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