I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
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