dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I wish i was in the wii world.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Randomize
