There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
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