and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
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