You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
please come you make the beer taste better
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
