The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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