I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I yelled at your uterus for you.
I love you.
Bad choice
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
