you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Randomize
