I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
