Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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