drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Randomize
