I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
My penis needs a shock collar
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
